How to Build and Maintain a Healthy Mother Daughter Relationship

The Huntington Library, Art Museum, and Botanical Gardens

There are many blessings all around us. The world is full of beauty, and choosing to embrace your blessings will allow you to see all the good that you’ve been given. The biggest blessing to me in my life is my beautiful daughter ‘Aairis’. 

 

Life can be hard but there’s always one thing that makes your life gleeful and for me finding out that I was expecting a daughter, it was like a dream come true. So I started to prepare myself for the beautiful journey I was embarking upon. I wanted to cherish each moment with her so I began to read books on mother-daughter relations. Currently i'm in the process of  starting an organization to help in guiding mothers throughout their journey of motherhood . As a mother, I want to explain how the bond we create with our children starts right from the moment we conceive them. I’m writing this blog to help mothers struggling with their newfound role in motherhood. 

 

 

The mother daughter relationship is one of the best relationships out there, especially when nurtured properly. Qualities and boundaries defined by both mother and daughter, are the major parameters to determine a healthy mother-daughter relationship. Each of them carries a responsibility to make it worthy. One-sided relationships don’t tend to last for the long run. 

 

What is the foundation of a mother-daughter relationship? 

Love. Love is the basic determinant of a healthy relationship between mother and daughter despite conflicts. It starts right at the moment when your daughter is just a little girl and grabbing the basic concepts of love in relations. This beautiful relation nurtures through adulthood and grows stronger than ever. It becomes a healthy one and both respect their boundaries. 

 

 

I’m going to highlight a few topics which are the pivots to healthy mother and daughter relationships:

  • 1st of all what is a healthy mother-daughter relationship?
  • How can you have a good mother-daughter relationship?
  • What qualities are essential for a good mother?
  • Is jealousy normal in the relationship between mother and daughter?
  • Why does a mother have an important role to play?

 

Just like every other relation, all kinds of mother and daughter relations exist. Some are the best ones possible while some are not. Some mothers might become enmeshed in their daughters’ lives while there are some mothers who are exceptional. I will point out the key qualities of both. 

 

What is a Healthy Mother-Daughter Relationship?

A healthy mother-daughter relationship is basically a combination of the below-mentioned qualities 

 

  1. Mother and daughter hope for and foster personal growth in one another

Best relations are those which make you realize your self-worth and help each other in building self-confidence which is essential for their personal growth. Daughters mostly solely rely on their mothers for their personal growth.

 

  1. They spend quality time together

All relationships vary but in a healthy relationship, the mother and daughter know the right amount of time to spend around one another to keep the relationship healthy. Some mothers and daughters are best friends; they spend a lot of time together. While some have constraining relationships. In such cases alter the time spent accordingly without causing any conflict. This will give you space and realization of each other’s feelings. So if you both are spending the right time together, you feel rejuvenated in spirits.

 

  1. They don’t ask each other to change their personality and stay in harmony 

Relationships are beautiful when you accept each other for who they are. Do not seek to change one another. In a healthy relationship, one has to ignore one’s mistakes and faults and appreciate the good things. For the best relationship, appreciate one another for who they truly are and just focus on what makes your bond good.

 

  1. They have constructive discussions

Having two people together will always have conflicts and it is also natural in a mother-daughter relationship. It is essential for both to have a constructive discussion over conflicts as sweeping arguments under the carpet will only cause worsening of the situation. 

Most importantly, always take time to listen to the other person so each can present their side of the argument. Always speak respectfully and try to understand each other’s opposing viewpoints.

 

 

 

  1. They never try to make each other feel guilty

Sometimes mothers and daughters are critical of one another and tend to cause each other guilt, which is a cause of discord in any relationship. This can result in a worsening of the relationship so to prevent this both need to realize when it is time to let go. Both need to realize that no one is perfect and we should be flexible enough to understand the other and stop making other people feel guilty. Get on with a real relationship by moving over your past guilt speech.

 

  1. Both parties contribute their best to the relationship
One-sided relationships don’t last long. It takes two to make any relation work, neither one should have to do all the work or make all the contributions to the relationship. Both mothers and daughters should totally support each other and bring out the best among themselves. 
 

How Can You Have a Good Mother-Daughter Relationship?

 

There are always a few vitals for having a beautiful and healthy mother-daughter relationship. The major aspects of having a good relationship include:
 
  • Strengthening the trust, which is important for any healthy relationship especially between mothers and daughters. Honesty is a pillar of trust, therefore both of them have to keep things transparent. Trust becomes an issue when daughters reach their adolescence, so to maintain a trustworthy relationship, daughters should strive to gain their mother’s trust. In the same way, mothers should also have an open mind and understand their daughters. 

 

  • Set boundaries for each other and respect them. It's a mother's responsibility to set boundaries for the proper behavior of their daughter. And if the daughter has any conflict with them, she should present this to her respectfully. It is important for both to have their own entities. 

 

  • And if there’s ever a conflict, present it respectfully to each other. Disrespectful words should never be used. Never close the communication channel for each other. Communication is the key to any healthy association. 

 

  • Express your love to each other even when there is no solution to an argument. Continue to tell each other about your love. 

 

What Qualities Are Essential for a Good Mother?

 

There are many qualities required for building any relationship. These qualities in a person help in making up a good association and for a mother, these qualities are essential;

  • Most vital; Love
  • Patience
  • Strength
  • Understanding
  • Empathy
  • Faithfulness
  • Humility
  • Forgiveness 

 

For a mother, her ultimate love is her Children. She continues to exhibit her love to the children irrespective of their acts.

 

‘‘One moment of patience, ten years of peace’’. For a peaceful relationship, patience is essential. No one really demonstrates as much patience as a mother does. A good mother is always patient with her daughter.

 

Motherhood is never an easy journey, sometimes mothers have to go through thick times, and for going through these times she needs strength. It takes a lot of strength to be a great mother.

 

There are always conflicts in relations, but if a mother is understanding, she offers her support to their children even when she disagrees with their action. A good mother understands that a child can make mistakes and not humiliate them. 

 

Empathy is a trait of humanity. And good mothers always empathize with their children in any difficult time. Her heart always aches for her daughter, and she can totally feel the pain of her child.

 

Being faithful to the children is an essential of a good mother. She is always faithful to their children when they need it.

 

A mother is always a role model for their children. Her humble nature serves as an example for her daughter.

Good mothers are always forgiving. They do not keep grudges and have a clean heart for their children. They do not bring up the mistakes of children.

 

Is Jealousy Normal in The Relationship of Mother and Daughter?

 

Mothers are never jealous of their daughters, but unfortunately, some are. There could be few reasons which may result in it but the right therapy and effort for improvement in the relationship can help in managing it. 

 

These are the few basic traits of jealousy within a mother and daughter relationship:

 

  • Lack of interest in the life of the daughter
  • Disrespectful towards their daughter’s choices
  • Humiliating a daughter 
  • Tend to get competitive 
  • Controlling the daughter’s life

 

It is never normal to have jealousy in a mother-daughter relationship. Getting overall the mentioned traits, will help you in building a good relationship between mother and daughter.

 

Why a Mother has an Important Role to Play?

There’s no love like mother’s love. No one can ever replace that. Mother is the most important person in anyone’s life. And here are a few reasons why mothers are so important:

  • They always love us unconditionally
  • They always help us around
  • They provide us emotional support
  • They help us heal
  • They make sacrifices for their children
  • They guide us on how to be an adult

 

There is no one like a mother. She is the backbone of the family. A role model for everyone. She shapes up our lives and makes us who we are. There is no one who is more sacrificial than a mother. They work day and night to ease our lives.

The relationship between mother and daughter is like a blooming flower. Always a source of happiness and peace. And for it to bloom forever, it is important to water it with love, trust, and respect. I feel this is key to a healthy mother and daughter relationship. 

 How do you nurture your mother-daughter relationship? Let us know in the comments below! Thank you and God bless